"Every good and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17
My Grief Journey
Grief and I were introduced on January 2, 2019. That was the day that my husband and I discovered the lifeless body of our 27 year old son lying on his bedroom floor, on top of an assault weapon, with a gunshot wound to his mouth (oral cavity, per the coroner's report). Needless to say, mine and my family's life has never been the same since then. Although I had experienced the pain of the loss of my parents, grandparents, other relatives and friends in the past, I never knew emotional pain on this level until the loss of my son. Not only was Grief not invited, but it was not welcome and certainly not appreciated. Horror, shock, disbelief, confusion, helplessness and fear were just a few emotions shooting through my entire body. As myhusband and I were viewing, touching, sensing the cold, hard shell where our son's vibrant spirit once resided, the only sound that came out of me was a loud, wounded, screeching sound, disturbing the peace of our neighborhood. Not only did the shock of grief bring out such a deep rooted sound from my loins, but it had a regurgitating effect on my husband, emptying out whatever meals he had that day. One of the many Good Gifts that God gave us from our grief was allowing us to find our son lying on the side of the wound, to spare us from any lasting nightmarish images. The first Good Gift is that on New Year's Eve, my Son and I had a beautiful Mother and Son conversation, where he shared his plans for the New Year. My last words to him were "Son you know that I love you" and his to me were "Mom I know". Thank God for the Gift of our last conversation, which has been a source of healing for me.
What Is Grief
Grief is the complex emotional, mental, social, and physical response to the death of a loved one. (Kastenbaum & Moreman, 2018)
My version of the definition ofgrief which is shared by so many other Grief Counselors is that Grief is like the biggest surfer's wave, that hits you without warning, lifts you off your feet, tosses you high in the air, and then forcibly hurls you to the cold, hard, surface of your pain."
Grief is a journey that I, like so many of you, didn't understand. There was a time in my journey that was so brutal, I thought I was losing my mind and Grief was completely taking over. Eventually, I had to give into seeking professional counseling. Imagine me, a Minister of the Gospel, helping others through their hard times and needing help myself.The counseling, much research and determination to get a grip on grief and not allow grief to get a grip on me and much prayer, is my remedy for grief. In addition, I have decided to devote my life to helping others overcome their grief. I became a certified Associate Chaplain and eventually a certified Grief Counselor. I do not want anyone to experience grief as I have and feel that God has called me to share the Good Gifts of Grief that He has given to me. As dark and brutal as my journey has been, God has turned the darkness into light and turned the bad into good, as only He can. My desire is to help as many as possible along their journey, to avoid the pitfalls and prevent them from getting stuck in the process.
If you as an Individual or a Group would like to know more about the Good Gift of Grief and how it can positively impact your Grief Journey, I would Love to Meet with You Individually or as a Group.Schedule Your Appointment With Me. You can also visit me at:
Youtube: Terri's Grief Journal; Face Book: Good Gift of Grief; Podcast: DiVine DeLites